Thursday 18 May 2017

Why will nobody appreciate the generosity of the Tories?

Isn't our glorious leader so wonderful, kind and generous?

Nasty people have unfairly maligned lovely Theresa's Dementia Tax as "cruel" and "malicious" because it's supposedly a way of asset stripping elderly people who are unfortunate enough to develop age related illnesses like dementia, Parkinson's disease or severe arthritis, but no!

They've got it all wrong.

Dementia Tax is obviously a magnificent act of kindness.

Think about it. Our wonderful benevolent nanny-dominatrix is actually going to ALLOW people to continue living in their houses until after they die. Only then will the necessary Tory asset stripping take place.

I'm sure there were a lot of people in the Theresa May's team demanding that these elderly people get turfed out of their houses as soon as they begin needing social care services, but Saint Theresa is so kind, and so generous, and so benevolent that she strongly decided to take mercy and allow people to actually continue living in their own homes as they're dying!

Only after they're dead will the government swoop in to extract the equity so they can use it to fund the ever-so-necessary tax cuts for corporations and the super-rich.

What's more, Saint Theresa has also kindly decreed that the children of elderly people with terminal degenerative diseases are now free to take a whole year off work with no pay to help care for their dying parents.

Just think about it properly. If your parents get ill, you can now work for free for a whole year caring for them as the government gradually confiscates the equity in their house, so you end up with practically no inheritance. Won't that be a treat?

I'm sure you'd be thanking Theresa May every day as you lived with no income for a year while the asset value of your inheritance was gradually eroded away every time a social care worker paid a visit, so that the Tories can redistribute that wealth to their super-rich chums.

Just admit it. Your parents are low hanging fruit that are ripe for the picking. You don't need them to leave you an inheritance so you can get a foot on the ridiculously inflated property ladder. Don't be silly.

No. That money is much better off in the bank accounts of billionaires and corporate executives, because we all know that if you make the rich even richer then trickle-down economics says that we'll all be loads better off in the long-run.

Yes ... You're getting it now.

You're beginning to appreciate the magnificent generosity of our merciful Tory overlords. 

Let us marvel at their benevolence. Let us praise their generosity. And above all let us hate Jeremy Corbyn for his deceptive vision of a society where the corporations and the super-rich pay their fair share of tax so that social care services are properly funded.

What a sick deluded fantasy.

Won't anybody think of the poor Billionaires?

FOOTNOTE: OK, so I guess you recognised this as satire at some point, but this isn't actually so far removed from the glowing reviews of Dementia Tax that appeared on the front pages of the Express and Daily Mail on the day it was announced. Had any other party announced such a barbaric policy we know that the tabloid hacks would have gone into full-scale outrage mode, but because it was their beloved Tories they actually tried to sell Dementia Tax to their readers as a wonderful thing!

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