Tuesday, 31 October 2017

How to celebrate Halloween like a Tory

In order to celebrate Halloween like a Tory, all you need to do is identify the richest child in your neighbourhood, give them all of your trick or treat sweets, then inform the rest of the kids that the benefit of what you've done will trickle down to them eventually.

Of course the rest of the kids are not likely to take it well, leading to eggs splattered on your house, toilet roll spread all over your garden, and a potato shoved up your car exhaust pipe, but then kids are often smarter than a lot of adults when it comes to figuring out that they've been conned.

Your average right-wing tabloid rote learner knows perfectly well that the Tory party is bankrolled by billionaires. And they also know that the Tories continually favour corporations and the mega-rich with tax cuts, honours and lavish handouts as they simultaneously load the entire burden of their hard-right austerity fanaticism onto people like the disabled, students, the jobless, people in need of care services, children in low income households, and the working poor.

They know this because only the most intensely ignorant of people don't know how the Tory party is funded, and who they shower favours upon in return.

However tabloid-addled people are actually somehow placated by the ridiculous myth of trickle down economics, which has been crudely rebranded as the "job creator" myth in recent years.

As far as they're concerned, jobs are actually created by benevolent rich people with spare cash and nothing better to do, not because of economic demand created by ordinary people having cash in their pockets to purchase more goods and services!

If you tried this kind of absurdly unbelievable fairy story on kids they'd see straight through it, realise that the rich kid is likely to stuff himself silly and then hoard what he can't eat for the future, and take revenge upon your house and garden.

Tabloid rote learners simply refuse to see the simple truth that the extraordinary amount of wealth the Tories have redistributed upwards in the last seven years has resulted in the tiny mega-rich minority literally doubling their wealth while the rest of us have dealt with the worst slump in wages since records began against a background of rampant tax-dodging and catastrophic ideologically driven cuts to public infrastructure and services.

If the tabloid rote learners were as smart as small children are, they'd have turned on the Tories with absolute fury. But sadly they've mindlessly accepted the drivel they're programmed to believe by the right-wing propaganda rags and the biased broadcast media, and they actually went out and voted for the Tories in their millions and allowed Theresa May to carry on clinging to power like the self-serving limpet that she is.

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