The Tory election campaign so far

The general election was only announced days ago, yet the Tory campaign has already degenerated into farce.

Johnson and Cummings could have picked pretty much anyone on the political right to draw up their election manifesto, but somehow they decided to hire a lobbyist called Rachel Wolf for the task. In her day job she lobbies on behalf of fracking companies and multinational tax-dodging corporations (so no glaringly obvious conflicts of interest there eh?)

The BBC and most of the mainstream media obliged Boris Johnson's minders by presenting his visit to Addenbrooke's Hospital in exactly the way they planned it, but the truth soon came out on social media. Johnson was booed out of the hospital by staff and patients alike, and hospital workers were prevented from asking him questions.

The day of Johnson's disastrous hospital visit was also supposed to be Brexit Day, but just like his predecessor Theresa May, Johnson ended up cobbling together such a shambolic, economically ruinous, and downright divisive bodge job of a Brexit proposal it had literally no chance of actually passing.

Despite having said he'd "rather be dead in a ditch" than extend Brexit again, that's precisely what he ended up doing.

Then it turns out that one of the Tories' election candidates was guilty of costing the public a fortune by deliberately collapsing a rape trial in a desperate bid to help his mate get away with raping a woman (his rapist mate was eventually jailed for five years after a retrial).

If Tory candidate vetting processes are so bad that they end up standing a rape trial saboteur, just imagine how many other unspeakably awful people they must be putting forward.

Then it was revealed that on the day the election was announced Tory ministers signed off on a scam to use public money to push a load of pro-Tory Facebook ads in marginal constituencies. Facebook eventually blocked this brazen Tory electoral fraud, but the Tories are steadfastly refusing to admit how much public money has been spent on this cynical election-rigging effort.

A softball interview with Laura Kuenssberg should have been the perfect tonic for Johnson, but he somehow managed to fluff the absolute "gimme" question he was asked about NHS privatisation: Would he rule out more NHS privatisation on his watch? Waffle, waffle, waffle, evasion, deception, whataboutery!

And then to top it all off, the Metropolitan Police finally handed their files on Vote Leave criminality to the Crown Prosecution Service after 16 months, meaning the Prime Minister and his most senior adviser could be facing criminal prosecution for their referendum cheating at some point in the next parliament, whether they're running the government or not.

If Johnson and the Tories can involve themselves in so many scandals in just a matter of days since the election was called, try to imagine how bloody awful they'd be if the British public are reckless enough to hand them a parliamentary majority for the next five years. 

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